


And What If She Screamed

by JessiRomantic



Series: And What If...? [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Canon Compliant, Frustration, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24109813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessiRomantic/pseuds/JessiRomantic
Summary: Ginny has just had to say goodbye to Harry. She knew he would make the choice he did, that doesn't make it any easier
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Series: And What If...? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739536
Kudos: 2





	And What If She Screamed

She had to put on a brave face for him. That’s what you do for the ones you love, you don’t let go but you don’t show your distress. You tell them that everything is going to be fine without them. You don’t show that every breath you take once you’ve said those words makes your lungs ache and your heart shatter. So that’s what she did. She was strong so he couldn’t see the ultimate torment ripping through her very soul.

It was inevitable. Dumbledore’s death had sealed the fate of Harry James Potter but it didn’t mean she had to agree. She agreed to his face of course; told him she understood and that she had seen it coming. She had seen it coming but she had hoped it wasn’t true. That he wouldn’t leave on some ‘save-the-world’ adventure. She hated that about him, and loved it at the same time; the predictability of him trying to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. That this war was only his to bear. That no one else could possibly understand or know what it feels like, that they couldn’t take the pressure. It hurt her to see him take that burden upon himself. So she told him the speech she’d rehearsed since she was in third year.

She had always felt a little stupid and vain to believe they would get together eventually. They had. For seven glorious months they had been one, like she had always wanted. They had been ‘Harry and Ginny,’ ‘boyfriend and girlfriend,’ ‘going out’; but she also knew that eventually, when he got his thick head into gear, she’d have to say the things she did because she knew him. She knew he’d go off with Ron and Hermione on some big adventure to save the world like they always did, and that it’d be ‘too dangerous’ for her. Bollocks to that. But she let him think that for his own peace of mind.

That was why, after the funeral, the first thing she did was go to her room at the Burrow. She ran there as fast as she could, holding back her tears as best she could. Despite this, a few small tears leaked from her eyes.

She had to get away from all of them. She hated having brothers; they were so overprotective and didn’t understand. She loved them but with a combination of six brothers and a coddling mother, she felt smothered. There wasn’t a moment’s peace in the house and sometimes all she needed was time to herself. That was why nabbed Fred’s wand to make the walls soundproof. She cast a silencing charm, locked the door and barricaded the entrance. Once she had finished the task at hand she slid down the door and sat on the floor. She curled herself up, tucking her feet under her, and did something she hadn’t done before.

She cried over a boy. The thing was, she wasn’t just sad, she was angry with him too. His hero complex, that had seemed so endearing to her before, frustrated her then. He always had to run in head first without thinking. Questions ran through her head at a rapid pace as the tears streamed freely down her cheeks. Why was he so incompetent sometimes? His irrational protection of her was so angering. That’s what her brothers did and she really didn’t want another person to do the same. Why didn’t he let her in? What had she done to deserve this total disrespect? Could he not see that she was just as capable as the other two, maybe even more so in Ron’s case? She had been in the DA with him and learnt just as much as they had. She had gone to the Department of Mysteries with them and risked her life just as they had. Why only them? She understood that they were his best friends but she was his girlfriend. She had loved him for longer than she could remember and now he expected her to sit around and wait for him to get home. Was he going to come back? Was he going to die? She didn’t want to think about that. She didn’t know what she would do without him. Does he know how much she _fucking_ loves him? The thought of him not knowing before he left and how broken she’d be if he did scared her more than anything. Why does he have to leave?

Why does he have to leave? This was the question that echoed in her skull, creating a headache. The question that made her cry bloody murder. The question that caused her heart to retch and her lungs to empty of air. The most unanswered question of them all that made her face distort, her throat run dry and the love she had for him pull at her insides. There was no answer to that pinnacle question. The question that she had no doubt in her mind he could not answer himself. The one that made her curl up into a ball to hold herself together and made her scream one phrase until her throat was sore. The one phrase that would solve all her problems, all their problems and that she cried herself to sleep to saying, that night and every night for the next nine months.

“DON’T _LEAVE_!”


End file.
